Not goodbye but see you again

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There is this one single memory of her that I will never forget. Sunday School, around 9AM, and a room full of boisterous boys and girls who tolerate them. I don't remember what the lesson I was teaching was but I remember how particularly unmanageable my 9 year old boy students were being. And this girl, with the green medical mask and a bright pink hat said, "Are you in the marketplace?" -- boldly calling attention to her classmates unruly behavior. She was able to do what I couldn't that day: keep the boys in check.

She wasn't a regular attendee for reasons understandable so I didn't get to know her that well. But the few moments I was privileged to have with her are precious. It is true that teachers learn from their students. This dear little girl taught me how to face death with your faith and dignity intact.

Her faithfulness to God's Word even in the reality of constant pain shamed me. When she herself couldn't read the Bible anymore, she asked her father to read to her. In her sickness, her love for the Word did not wane -- nor did her devotion to her family. 10 years on earth, it was truly a life well lived, which is more than I can say about my 23 years on this planet.

There is much yet to understand, answers that will not come in this life. But we do not grieve like the rest of men, who do not have hope. I know she is with our Master and Lord now. And we will see each other again. In paradise.

Can 2010 come any sooner?

“A man grows most tired while standing still.”

- Chinese Proverb

This has been a tumultuous three months. I thought that once I was free from the reins of August, it was all going to be okay. Tells you a lot about my skills in "predicting" the future. If August 2009 were a person, she'd be the Bridezilla -- demanding, overbearing, breathing-down-your-neck-I-want-everything to be-perfect wife to be. Ironically, it was my most productive month, work-wise.

Ah, then September comes along. My birthday month, so I had more reason to be hopeful. But my bubble was burst in the worst possible way. First, I fought with one of my bestest friends in the world on my birthday, while we were at a gig listening to a bunch of my favorite bands. I was stupid, it was stupid. Then Ondoy comes along and decided to shed light on what we all knew all along: our government, our sewage system, our trash management, and our disaster preparation suck.

It was followed by Pepeng, who basically ushered in the month of October. This country, or at least my part of the country, is trying to rebuild itself. We are a resilient people, I know, but every time we are ravaged by storm, revolution, or the everyday demonstration of the hypocrisy of our so-called democracy, my heart breaks a little.

I, too, am trying to restore my zest, my joy, my interest in anything other than trivial things such as Plants vs Zombies and Glee. I am just tired and weary. And I know I'm not supposed to be living life this way, dragging my feet while each day looks exactly like the day before. I pray that He restores my soul. This, too, shall pass.

2010, hasten your coming. I need hope for a fresh (yet again) start.

No regular programming yet

I obviously haven't been in a very blogging mood this past two months. I have a lot to tell but no words for those stories. For now, people who do drop by this blog every now and then should know that our country, the Republic of the Philippines, has been hit by one of the strongest storms in the last 50 years. Ondoy (also called Typhoon Ketsana) has left most of the Greater Manila Area and nearby provinces devastated by its record-breaking rainfall.

Anyway, should you find it in your heart to help in any way you can, please refer to this blog for updates on the upcoming storm, survival tips, collated tweets for info, and how you can help the victims of Ondoy. http://bayanihanonline.wordpress.com/

Let's keep the spirit of bayanihan alive!

Patience, dear Chocolate Ferrari. I will return. Just let me unscramble my brains first.